My husband and I have been having a lot of conversations lately about being online. Is it good? Is it ok? Is it for us/our family? Is it what God is calling me/us to? Is it healthy for our marriage? Our family?
So many questions have been brought up and all sorts of pros and cons and emotions have been stirred. Right now we’re in a major life changing place and we are trying to learn to struggle well, to hear God’s voice in the midst of our lives taking a new direction.
I will be totally honest with you. I want to unplug everything.
I do. I want to let go of all the online social media upkeep and close the laptop, indefinitely. I don’t want to be attached to a computer, I want to be attached to my family, to my God.
I’ve been feeling like this whole online thing is more demanding than I want it to be. It’s changed so much and now there are ‘do this’ and ‘don’t do that’s’ everywhere I turn. It feels like it’s become a job instead of a journey or a hobby that I enjoy. I don’t like it. It makes me not like any of it anymore.
It also makes me feel inept. It exposes my inability and weaknesses in the area of technical things and in turn that makes me feel like I was never really cut out for any of this anyway. I get fried from all of it and I just want to unplug and forget.
I want to be a writer.
I just want to write.
I don’t want to worry about SEO, graphics and analytics, key words and meta data, only having 250 words and utilizing specific forms to ensure people will read what I write which will increase my readership which then will make me amazing, in demand and famous!
I don’t care. I really don’t.
For me, personally, it’s one of the biggest distractions and discouragements you could put in front of me. For me, it takes the life right out of wanting to share mine. It puts things into a formula, a cookie cutter, a box. How can God move if He’s confined? How can I express my heart when I’m so worried about making sure I have plenty of back links and just the right photo to tie it all together to make the ‘perfect package’?
I know all these things have their place, I’m not begrudging those who actually like that stuff, not at all. I do try to learn and I do try to figure some things out. It’s all good.
For me, it makes me crazy.
Is that ok? Can I just be that person? Can I just write? Can I just sit at my computer, ask the Lord to pour through me and give you the words that He’s placed on my heart and end the sentence with a period and be done?
I sure hope so.
As for the direction this space will take, I’m not sure. I do know that right now I am enjoying time offline with my family. It’s such a relief to ignore the computer and be on it when I choose instead of when I think I should be on because it’s peak time for my readership.
I guess I needed the break. 😉
As this year draws to a close and the dawn of a new year approaches, you will find me praying, seeking the Lord for direction in my life. You will find me talking and praying and dreaming with my husband about what our future could have in store for us. You will find me mentoring my daughter. She is still home and there’s still time to sow into her life all the things she’ll need to have a life that pleases the Lord. You will find me being quiet. Breathing. Living the day to day.
So until next year, may the Lord Jesus Christ be your hope, comfort, peace, guide, strength, protection, joy…your treasure.
May He and He alone be your everything.
Soli Deo Gloria,