I’m sitting on my couch. My laptop is perched on my knees as I slowly tap keys, giving my brain some time to figure out the direction it wants to go. But my mind keeps wandering.
I haven’t written anything in this space for a long time. After the heartbreak of all that happened in the first few months of this year, only some of which I actually shared here, and the fact that I was just flat-out FRIED from being continually online for the last 7 years…
I NEEDED A BREAK!
So I took one. Well, mostly. 😉
This summer has been spent praying, reading my Bible, loving on my family, being loved by them, crying, praying some more, crying some more, listening to the Lord’s voice, praying for all of you, and many moments of sitting at the feet of Jesus, worshiping Him alone.
This is what I run to.
This is where He meets me.
This is where we must be found. This is where we ARE found.
Oh friends, the space at the foot of the cross of Christ should be so worn with our continual coming that even angels see it as a sacred place, fearing to tread there!
This is the place where I laid everything down. I had said I was only taking a break, but I had actually meant I was giving it all up. I wanted to go back to being unknown, to that place where I would hide away, crouched in the corner alone with my pain and despair. I had no intentions of ever really coming back, or of even saying goodbye. I didn’t think anyone would notice anyway.
He had a plan. He HAS a plan. For me, for you, and He is fiercely faithful in His mission of completing His plan for me…for you.
Part of His plan was for me to go to the Declare Conference. He made that perfectly clear when I won, yes, I actually WON a ticket to attend. I had been praying off and on for my sweet friends who were hosting the conference, but after that moment I prayed all the more for them and offered my support in any way they may need. I was so blessed by the conference last year, and I knew their hearts, it was the least I could do to bless them for blessing me.
The closer the time came to going to the conference I also began asking the Lord to use me, as His servant, and I purposed to pour myself out so He could fill me up in order to be a blessing, to be His ambassador in the lives of others. I went to the conference with no other agenda or expectations, I simply wanted to serve.
And I did. With all my heart. And it was AMAZING.
I was a bug who had found her rug. I was a duck who had found the best water. I was happier than the happiest clam could ever be!
For once in my life, I wasn’t the one who needed all the help, scared and lost in the shadows. I wasn’t the one who needed all the fixing, trying hard to act like I had it all together. I wasn’t the one the Lord kept saying “wait” to. For once, I was the one who Jesus called on to serve others!
All those years of being a wreck, a blubbering mess, being the one who desperately answered all the altar calls for her plethora of problems, the one who God seemed to be doing continual “spiritual surgery” on, the one who believed she would never ever come to a place where God could use her because she had been so used by the world…the girl who longed and yearned and begged to be able to give one small bit of glory back to the only One who, while knowing all her secret scars and bruises and wounds and dirty, rebellious brokenness, still wanted to wash her clean, wanted to save her, love her, and cherish her. After all these years…
He picked me.
God. Picked. Me.
And if God picked me, He WILL pick YOU. I want to encourage you, that God does remember you are His child. God does remember you are there, here, waiting. Rest in the truth of knowing you are already chosen by God, hand-picked, on purpose! Nothing, absolutely not one thing can change that or separate you from that, or Him.
As Christians, we use the analogy of “going through seasons” along the road of our spiritual journey. I have had many, many, many, many seasons that have led to this point in my life and you know what? I will have many, many, many, many more. The Lord isn’t finished with us yet. We won’t be perfected until Jesus comes for us or calls us home to be with Him forever in glory; this place is only temporary.
God has a plan for all of us. Remember what I said about Him being fiercely faithful to that plan? Well, I know that because His word tells me that in Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ…”. If you continue in God’s word you will come to know the God of the word, and when you know the God of the word…you can rest in His peace.
Oh Lord Jesus, You have brought me so far, I can not wait to see where else you will take me! May You alone be glorified in my life for all that You have done. Father, would You please, by Your Holy Spirit, comfort and encourage the hearts of my friends who are reading this? Will you please make Yourself real to them, give them a desire to seek You in Your word and meet them there? Please reveal who YOU say You are to them and drown out all the other voices that only Yours remains. I thank you so much for all of Your children, may we be a jewel in Your crown and the reason You smile. In the name of, and by the blood of Your precious son, Jesus, I pray. Amen