Beloved,

I was out of town at a Christian womens blogging conference last week. Little did I know it would be more about my walk in Christ than anything else. God used this event and the weeks preceding it to challenge, heal and change me in a deep and lasting way. His work continues as I walk things out, processing all that transpired so it keeps sinking, deep, deeper yet into my spirit and soul. Here are a few words I hope will convey some of what has taken place.

You took a solitary girl, whispered into her heart, “Go!” and illumined the way.

Unsure, she began to believe Fear and Doubt, Your voice came once more, “Go! I will be with you!”

Out of the comfort of what she knew, in wide-eyed hope, she blindly stepped. You were there.

Exceeding grace, exuberant calm, the fragile limb held her every obedient step, in awe and delight, she kept inching out.

Talking, laughing, crying, sharing, loving with a community of OTHERS…it was all her, and it was all ok and it was all good.

This Cinderella made it to the ball, in the castle on a mountain, and for 3 days danced to her hearts content, the slippers not once failing. Her Prince was there.

“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
”  ~Psalm 68:5-6

She is forever changed.

Joy unspeakable, grace unending, fear banished, doubt erased.

Head held high, feet firmly planted, smile unwaveringly placed.

She is forever free. Free to be all she was created to be.

The chains have fallen away, the prison doors have been flung open, I can run into the arms of my Father to be embraced in a way I have never known. So many years of fear, torment, sadness and pain, not knowing who I was and not completely understanding Whose I am.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”  ~Isaiah 61:1-3

I am my Beloveds and HE IS MINE! And His banner, over me, is LOVE.

(paraphrasing of Song of Solomon chapters 2&6)

The Relevant conference, for me, was a definitive exclamation point on the last 18 years of my new life in Christ. God IS faithful!

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October 29, 2010 at 7:18 pm

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

ali @ an ordinary mom October 29, 2010 at 5:50 pm

What a blessing to share the experience with you, my friend!

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Christina October 29, 2010 at 6:31 pm

What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing your heart. It was a blessing to read.

Christina

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just-a-mom October 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Wow this sounds like such a life changing event for you. So happy that it was a blessing.

Reply

Kaira October 30, 2010 at 1:39 am

Traci,
I have had you on my heart all day today. We didn’t spend much time chatting 1-on-1 but we shared a table @ MOB and we shared company in the lounge a few times. Today I was thinking about you and how you shined Jesus. I never saw you without your face lit up with a smile – you radiate joy! I would be blessed to call you my friend. :)

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